God's will?

You know, we make a really big deal about following God's will. Doing what God wants us to do. Somewhere along the way in my childhood, I took the idea of the "straight and narrow" a bit too literally and interpreted God's will as being this one particular path. And if I were to make the wrong decision and stray from that path...only bad things would happen.

Naturally, this caused quite a bit of anxiety with my decision-making. And it can cause me to second guess things in my life, always wondering if I'm doing the right thing.

Theologically, I don't agree with that anymore. But that way of thinking is ingrained in my thinking, and still pops up on occasion.

I've had to learn that sometimes, my choices are between good and good. And God can work through either situation. I still need to practice discernment, but I don't need to become so anxious about my decisions.

This really makes me reconsider how I address things like this when teaching children and youth. Yes, following God is difficult. But many times we complicate the situations in our minds, second guessing and stressing too much over making the right decision, as though life is a multiple choice test that we can fail. Perhaps it's more of an essay, that we write continuously, learning and processing and developing things as we go...

job thoughts

So I'm back on the East Coast after my whirlwind vacation/conference in Memphis. It really was a fun time, and I got to see a variety of people. And I'm bursting with ideas for the children's ministry...

A struggle I've been having recently (well, really this entire year) is figuring out my place in my job. As the "ministry assistant," I don't have a lot of specific duties. Make the bulletins and newsletters, check. Help with kids stuff, check. And "other duties as assigned."

The thing is, it can vary from week to week. I have periods where I have so much responsibility and am doing so much! Then I have weeks when I feel like I'm just a secretary taking care of the crap no one else wants to do. I mean, I'm gaining a ton of experience and learning a lot from working with these guys, but I wish I could do more on the ministry side! I feel like I have so many great ideas, but I don't always feel like I have the freedom to take them on.

Here's some of the thoughts in my brain: I want to be a minister - and I am in some regards - but in many regards I'm not old enough - but who said age was important - I need to do my best regardless of where I am - but what if people just restrict me to that niche and don't give me a chance outside of it - but I don't want to take on more than I can handle and burn out - but I want to be taken seriously - but don't people already take me seriously?

I feel like I need to work on my humility. And patience. Ministry isn't about me. I've only been here 9 months. And I have two more years in seminary before I can even think about taking on something full-time. I just get impatient...

live from Memphis

I've been at the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship meeting in Memphis since Wednesday, and it's been quite an experience. This is my first national convention, so I wasn't sure what to expect. But I've run into several people that I know from various parts of my life (one remembered me when I was a PASSPORTkids staffer two years ago!), so it's fun to make those connections again. I'm not really into the political side of Baptist life, so I haven't been attending the business sessions, just the breakouts and worship. Perhaps I should care more about it. But it's given me time to explore the downtown area with friends - and yes, I've been to Beale Street :o)

More thoughts on it after I return to the East Coast.

And yes, the ribs here are AMAZING.

Women in ministry

This is worth reading. It's a blog post picked up by Ethics Daily talking about women in ministry.

Yes, we have come a long way. My aunt was one of those twenty or so years ago who first began breaking this "glass ceiling" of women in ministry. But unfortunately, it is still an issue in many churches. I'm all about picking your battles, but this is an area where I cannot stay silent. This is one that is worth the fight. As a woman looking to enter the ministry, I am very sensitive to this topic. It's tough for women to find churches where they are welcome and respected as ministers. I am fortunate to be in a place where I am; many are still fighting for equal respect. And that's not right.

I could go on and on about this, but I'll step off my soapbox right now and let the article speak for itself :o)

A smile moment

There's an elderly deacon at the church who calls every day to see who's in the hospital, so he can go visit them. We always have a nice little conversation - he's such a sweet man. Today before he hung up, he said to me, "You always look so nice when you're standing up there at the pulpit."

Now, who doesn't love a compliment? But the fact that he said, "when you're at the pulpit," and not just "on the podium," really meant a lot to me. The fact that he sees the pulpit as a place where I am fully welcome and allowed to stand and speak...it's a great thing. And it gives me more hope as this church more and more comes to recognize me not just as support staff, but as a minister.