high anxiety

**Note - this is more of a personal entry than a true blog entry.

You know, when I started this whole seminary process, I knew it would be a difficult road. But for some reason, I thought that would be confined to the classroom and my own intellectual life. Not other areas of life as well.

My roommate is transferring. I am losing a friend. Friendships here have been a struggle, because I've been trying to break out of a clique I have found myself in. I am trying to have a good experience at seminary, but it's hard when some of your friends are creating an unhealthy environment for that.

At the same time, I'm also losing the second half of my rent (which I can't afford on my own). I've put in an application to live in an intentional community, but I'm still waiting on that process. Meanwhile, I had to submit a form to the school saying I would not be living in this apartment next year. So technically, I don't have a place to live next year. Yet.

(Sure, living with my parents is an option, but that's really a last resort. It's not a good location or conducive to my lifestyle. But if nothing else works out, I guess that's where I'll end up.)

Our school is also going through some tough times. I won't go into details here, but there will be some major changes up ahead. Which is a stressful thing, since I will be a student during the time of this major transition.

It's a lot of uncertainty that has hit all at once. I really didn't see it coming. And in the midst of all these papers and books, I just want to crawl in my bed and not come out for a week.