no conclusion

It's finals week. Thus, I'm blogging. Makes sense, right?

It seems as though the more I write papers, the less they tie up neatly. As I get deeper and deeper into different perspectives and difficult questions, I can explore but not fully answer. For example, here's a "conclusion" from a recent exegesis I wrote on a passage in Job:

No solid conclusion exists for the question of suffering and God’s presence. We do not understand why such injustices exist despite the characteristic of God as a liberator, yet it is not enough to cause Job or most of us to abandon such a belief. Ultimately, what we do know is this: God’s ways are higher than we can know or fully comprehend, which God’s response makes clear in the final chapters of the narrative. It is at this point where it is best to take the position of the wise, who fully acknowledged their own limited understanding, instead allowing a variety of voices to participate in the discussion. Though that did not stop them from contemplating and struggling with such topics, as we should, it also did not limit them to a stagnant and rigid system of theology regarding sin and suffering. As uncomfortable as it may be to have no clear answer, we are wise to follow suit.

Yet as I continue to learn and grow, I'm becoming more and more comfortable with the ambiguity. Of course, there is the danger of falling into the cop-out answer of "God is a mystery," which can become an excuse to not struggle and explore at all. But I must say that I enjoy the process of thinking and learning, despite the lack of solid answers. I've turned away from the need to fit everything in a neat little box, with all loose ends tied up. In the words of my OT professor (whom I will miss greatly): A coffin is a nice wrapped-up box. When we accept "solid" answers, we get rid of the room to change and grow, essentially stifling the Christian faith and making it dead. This is what turned me off from the Bible - the thought that it was a stagnant set of rules, an unchanging handbook for any and every situation. But if we really do believe that God is living and active, then we are willing to let the ambiguities and contradictions remain, knowing that interpretations and perspectives will change over time. They have before, and they will continue to do so.