evening plans

Let's see...tonight is the second night of the New Baptist Covenant celebration, another Democratic debate, and the season premiere of Lost.

And where will I be? At the opening night of Godspell, of course! Yes, our intense month of rehearsals will be showcased in our opening performance tonight, the first of six. The fact that opening week has overlapped with the first week of the new semester has caused some slight stress problems, but we've all survived. Fortunately, my profs have decided to ease us all into the semester, so I haven't been overwhelmed with lots of work. Good thing, because my brain is pretty much mush now with anything that's not Godspell-related. I think it will be an awesome show...we're practically sold out on all the nights!

Maybe once this is all over I can get back to quasi-intelligent posts... :o)

rest in peace

I was going to post a somewhat disgruntled rant about Christian Unity week in regards to my alma mater and how the Christians there celebrate it...but yesterday, a music professor from there died, and I feel the need to put aside the other post for this one. I never had her for a class, interacted with her only briefly in the hallways of the music building...but I still feel the loss. I had several friends in the music department, and all spoke highly of her. Death is hard, no matter who it is or what the connection is to them. Even Heath Ledger...I feel for his friends and family, and wonder what it is that caused him to die so young. I haven't been emotional or anything (I don't feel like I have the connection to be that way), but it is a sobering moment that makes you think about our own mortality.

But it's been good to have an outlet for those feelings with the play. On stage, I can let it all go, and just be crazy and get into whatever we're working on. I know my acting has a long way to go, but I've felt lots of improvement within myself. And I genuinely enjoy working with the cast and the relationships that we've developed. It will be difficult to move on after this play, letting it go as I settle into the new semester and the new schedule and not seeing the same people every single day. I hate saying goodbyes...but it will need to happen, if only so new opportunities and relationships can arise.

you've got to be kidding me

So last year I was out of the loop about this NFL ban on showing the Super Bowl (wait, am I allowed to call it that?) on big screens, specifically targeting churches who have parties. Now a lawyer wants to take them on by representing a church in the fight.

Excuse me while I rant about this for a bit.

What is the problem with a group of people getting together to watch the game? I confess that I don't know the intricacies of copyright laws, but how can a group of people watching the game on a projector or large TV cause any harm? It's not like the NFL is losing any money. In fact, many of those people probably wouldn't even watch the game on their own (like me). The advertisers have already paid their money, so it's not like they charge by the number of TVs used.

Apparently, there's also copyright issues over using the term "Super Bowl." Honestly...who cares? Why is the NFL being so possessive over this? If you ask me, the quality of the game (and many of the advertisements) has gone down drastically over the past years, and all this hubbub makes me less and less likely to watch it. Are they concerned about people losing interest and feel a need to affirm their claim on the event?

And seriously...there is a disproportionate amount of money funneled into professional sports as it is. That's the real reason I can't get into them - it makes me sick to know what those people are paid to play. Yes, some of them do use their fame and wealth to help other causes. But still...is it necessary?

It's a ridiculous law. But I'm not even sure it's worth the fight to overturn...

asking for help

If you know me, I tend to be a pretty independent person, not asking for help. I don't want to bother people...and would they really want to help me? But I've been pleasantly surprised recently...

I've been trying to figure out how to convert a file to pdf so I can send it to my new friends in El Salvador. But everything I tried wouldn't work. So this morning, I put up a message on Facebook that I needed help - maybe 5 hours ago? And since then, I have received two messages and one phone call in response, offering me suggestions about software to download, etc.

It's a good feeling to know that people are watching out for me.

This play is another thing. I'm waaaay out of my comfort zone. Write a paper? No problem. Take a test? Sure. Translate some Hebrew? Bring it on. Act and sing on stage? ummmmm....

Yet it's something I want to do. And I'm trying hard. But I don't have the natural ability on stage that many others do. So I've gotten together with people, asking for help and suggestions about how to improve. And I've gotten nothing but encouragement and support. (Which I guess is fitting, since Godspell is centered around how Jesus brings a group of people together into this community, and how that community grows and reacts to everything that happens).

There really is something to this whole community thing. At camp, it was community that helped lift me up and respect myself again. And now, it is community that is helping me grow and improve, giving me the push and confidence that I need.

matriarchy?

Bopping through the blog world last night, I came across some interesting information about women's education. According to projections in Reason Magazine, women will be the more educated gender by 2017. The article makes several good insights about how this will change the way our society is shaped, creating a matriarchy of sorts. To be honest, I don't even know what that would look like.

Then Al Mohler put in his two cents about the article. Of course, he said some things that irritated me about how it is contrary to the "biblical worldview" and "rightly ordered family and church."

But he did make a good point (oh dear, I actually agree with something Al Mohler said): where are the men? I applaud and appreciate women stepping forward and seizing opportunities, overturning the old stereotypes. But as women are progressing farther and farther in education, why are the men stepping back? How did this trend start? And where are they going?

Frankly, the idea of matriarchy scares me a bit. I don't want for one gender to dominate another; I want equality. My roommate pointed out that it wouldn't necessarily be like the harmful patriarchy of the past. Don't get me wrong - I am thrilled about women taking on more leadership in all different aspects of society. But still...some feminists take it too far, and purposely degrade men in their efforts. That's not what it's all about. You don't empower women by pushing down everyone else around them. You lift them up, set them on equal footing with men.

I'm tired of "girls rule, boys drool." Why does it always have to be a dichotomy - us versus them? Will it ever even out? Or am I just too idealistic and hopeful?

when wilt thou save the people...

I'm currently in the middle of rehearsals for Godspell, put on by my seminary. It's been a fun yet exhausting experience so far, especially for a theatre novice like myself.

The cool thing about our production is that we're doing it from the perspective of the homeless, a "rag-tag" version you might say. And it's a powerful version, where these nameless faces come together as a community, forever changed by God incarnate who lived and died among them. I'm still working on completely taking on the homeless persona and the back story that I've created for my character...that will take some time.

But my attitude towards the homeless I see around me has changed. After SA, I felt more compassion for those that I saw on the street, and could no longer ignore them. Now, I feel a sort of kinship with them. There is one woman in particular who always stands by a corner on my way home from work in the afternoon. I don't know her story, and I've never given her anything, but I make a point to try and look her in the eye and smile. A smile which she returns. I can't give her money or food (well, maybe I should), but I want to give her the respect she deserves as a person. As a child of God.

I don't know how to help these people. I don't know how to ease their pain or offer them a hand up. There is so much I don't understand about our society, about how people can just fall through the cracks like that. And how they can be treated so badly by others.

What is the answer?

When wilt thou save the people
Oh God of mercy, when?
The people, Lord, the people
Not thrones and crowns, but men
God save the people (save us)
For thine they are
Thy children as thy angels fair
God save the people from despair
God save the people...

homesickness

It's interesting. It's been a little over 5 months since I returned from South Africa. I've settled into my life here, am slowly building relationships, and feel somewhat at home. The memories are always popping up, and I'm sure my friends are sick of hearing, "when I was in SA..."

But every now and then, out of nowhere, I'm hit with an overpowering wave of homesickness for that place, those people. And I know, I know, this is where God has called me to be, for some reasons I see and others that have yet to be revealed. Yet I can't help but let my mind drift back over that ocean and wonder...

"I was afflicted with Africa like a bout of a rare disease, from which I have not managed a full recovery." - Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible
(Thanks to my dear friend for sharing this quote with me)

Truth is? I don't want to "recover"...

oh politics

The buzz on all the news networks right now is the NH primary and what the candidates are doing in the final hours. But in particular, I've heard multiple times how Hillary almost cried when talking to the press. I'm wondering if there's a double standard for women in the presidential race. Many have commented about how she comes across as cold and tough, perhaps because she feels the need to prove her strength in a realm that has been dominated by men. Softness could be interpreted as weakness. But then she shows a bit of softer emotion, and the networks jump all over it. Will that now be stressed by others as a sign that she is unfit for the pressures of the presidency? Is it not unfair for women to be seen either as unfeeling or as overly emotional, with no allowance for a mixture of the two?

For the record, I'm undecided when it comes to Hillary as to whether I think she is the best candidate. And I would like to see a woman as president, though I don't know if I would want it to be her. But I must say that I respect her determination and endurance through the pressure of a tough campaign, fighting for something that she wants. It will be interesting to see how these campaigns progress. (Hmmm, I'm actually paying attention to politics for once!)

El Salvador and weddings

For one week, I had the opportunity to travel with a team from my church to El Salvador. We are building a partnership with an amazing church community down there, a church with a missions focus that puts most American churches to shame. They help run livestock projects that give poor rural families an income and a way to give back to the community around them. We watched one family receive her new chickens to raise, a life-changing moment for her, and it was moving. The pastor of this church is a lively woman (yes, a woman pastor! woohoo!) with a big heart and a sweet spirit. And yes, I rang in the new year with dancing and tons of fireworks. It was an awesome experience, and I'm very excited about the future of this partnership. We have a lot to learn from these people! Their love, hospitality, dedication, concern for others...it blew me away. And their openness to the Holy Spirit was amazing. When they sang, they sang with their whole hearts...most were in the wrong key or on the wrong beat, but that didn't matter. And when they prayed, they prayed. They have such joy and hope, even in the midst of a troubled government and widespread poverty. I'm very excited about continuing this relationship, and even more so about emailing back and forth with a few church members. And I'm looking forward to returning next fall for another trip. My love for other countries and cultures has deepened again.

In other news...two of my college friends got engaged this week, bringing the married/engaged count within our group to 5. *cue "Another One Bites the Dust"* Just kidding...though I was surprised by the timing (mainly because I forgot that this is the time of year when people love to pop the question), I'm genuinely happy for them both. And hey, weddings = mini-reunions, a plus when you and your friends no longer live in the same city!