grief

Grief is a foreign concept for me. I recognize that people grieve, and have experienced loss of different kinds in my life. But I've never had to face the death of someone I was close to.

My boyfriend's grandmother passed away Thursday morning, suddenly. He is grieving. And I am grieving with him.

It's odd, to grieve for someone you never met. Yet he was so close to her, and I am so close to him, that I am grieving...for him, and with him. I feel guilty to insert my emotions into the situation...but I can't help it.

After a mini-breakdown in class, I had a long talk with my favorite professor. He talked about how the mind and brain are two different things and how we can't figure out the connection between the two. Many things that I don't remember, but it was comforting in some way. And at the end, he said, "Let yourself cry. Let yourself feel. It's okay."

Words I needed to hear.

it's a small world after all

The other night, I was celebrating a friend's birthday, and was introduced to one of his friends from PASSPORT that he worked with several years ago. She seemed really familiar.

I asked her when and where she worked. One of her years was Wingate 02, my first year as a camper.

She was my Bible study leader.

Now we're both PASSPORT staff alumni, and have some of the same friends. Funny how small the world can be sometimes.

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In other news...I'm recovering after our Fall Festival, which over 600 people came to. I'm a bit sad that most of the congregation doesn't realize I did most of the planning for this event. I'm ready for the election to be over (and excited about all the options of free food on election day!). And I'm frustrated by people who like to do things at the last minute and expect me to switch around my entire schedule for them.

Well, I came to the realization that it has been quite a while since I updated this thing.

First there was school and work, which had me running around like crazy. Then came the mono, which put an end to all running around and reduced me to a moss-covered log who laid in bed and watched TLC all day. The past 3-4 weeks have consisted of me trying to get better and do everything I can without exhausting myself.

Good news is, I'm almost post-mono. Bad news is, my endurance is gone. Seems my body has gotten used to lying around all the time and sleeping for a minimum of 8 hours a day. Where has that running girl gone? I can't find her.

Having mono basically gave me a "forced sabbatical," which I did not want. I am fortunate to have professors who care about me and tell me, "your health comes first; the work can wait." My coworkers, too, have taken on extra loads so I can rest. It's a slight blow to your pride when you realize the world can continue to run without you. But it's true. I am just so blessed to have so many people who wanted to make sure I was recovering properly.

I'm back at work and class now, and minus a few papers that will be completed at a later date, I'm almost feeling normal again. I'm a bit sad that I've missed October; weather-wise, it's a beautiful month. Oh well.

So now that the mono is almost gone, perhaps I'll write on this thing a bit more. I do have ideas and observations about things, and hopefully I'll start recording them more.

9/11

I acknowledge that this is a solemn day. I was a junior in high school, blissfully unaware while sitting in my precalculus class. It wasn't until I got to Spanish that I heard the news, and saw the pictures. It all looked so surreal - I thought it was a scene from Independence Day. The principal made us turn off the televisions, and few of my teachers wanted to talk about it. I still remember that Mrs. Yohe helped calm down our fears, and Mr. McDonald actually talked about the facts with us. Everyone else didn't seem to acknowledge that it happened, instead wanting to know why we hadn't finished our homework. We walked around the halls in a daze, not able to comprehend it all.

It was a terrible day.

There's a well-written article on Ethics Daily that is worth reading. It gives a different and much-needed view on this day. While in no way does it take away the reality of the events seven years ago or lessen the gravity of the situation, it does provide a broader perspective...

Nothing brings about a good random post...

...like the need to write/finish a sermon.

Yes, I am preaching the new student orientation chapel on Tuesday; thus, I am updating my slightly neglected blog.

Today in children's church we talked about Moses and the burning bush. To get the kids thinking about the story, I got them to imagine how they would feel if they were Moses at certain parts of the story, and show me with their facial expressions. When I first mentioned the bush, most had looks of fear. But one boy in the back had a big grin on his face. I asked him why, and he said, "I could roast marshmellows over it!"

Roasting marshmellows over the burning bush. Good one, kid :o)

"it's a rainforest adventure...a tree top Bible blast!"

I've been neglecting this blog a bit...so much to write about, and no time to write! But here's a little something...

Yesterday was my birthday. And what better way to spend your birthday than have the opening night of VBS?

Yes, I worked on my birthday. A lot. But it actually ended up being a really good day.

The reason for my post? To showcase some of the AMAZING VBS decorations that we have this year. Our theme is "Rainforest Adventure," and a few of our ladies have transformed the fellowship hall into an actual rainforest...

The entrance

The registration area

The cave to get to the rain forest

The rain forest!

And I didn't even post pictures of everything...isn't it awesome?!? So creative, and so under budget!! Guess who I'm recruiting for fall festival decorations this year... ;o)

a full year in the states

It has been a full year since I returned from South Africa. Wow.

So much has happened in the past year that it seems like a lifetime ago. Yet I still remember the faces and the voices and the places so clearly.

My time in Johannesburg changed me. A lot. And through that experience and the processing afterwards (the processing that still continues today), I've realized a lot about myself and life in general...

*I have no fear of traveling now. Go on a mission trip overseas? Okay! I have a comfort level in other cultures and among other peoples.
*I require introvert time, even if it's just a nap. Though I love people and I love new situations, I get overwhelmed when I don't have a chance to take a break and be by myself for a little bit.
*Shower time = sacred time. No shower = a big adjustment.
*Germs? What germs?
*I am a selfish person who doesn't fully appreciate everything she has.
*I have the tendency to shut myself off emotionally and distance myself from others. This can prevent building relationships with others and truly ministering to them.
*I adore children. Even if they're naughty.
*Some of the most sacred moments come out of the most ordinary things.
*Laughter can bridge any cultural or language barrier.
*No amount of training or education can ever teach you to love fully and unconditionally. That's just something you have to learn on your own.
*Communication with those you love is incredibly important.
*You can cook almost anything in a skillet.
*Massive amounts of food are overrated. Yet we in America succumb to it every day.
*High fructose corn syrup is gross.
*Transition is very very difficult. And it's okay to admit that.
*I still miss it. A lot. Even though I know this is where I'm supposed to be right now.
*Missions isn't about bringing Christ to others. It's about going to others, loving them, and recognizing how Christ is already in their midst.
*Ministry is where my heart is.